The adventures of Flat Armando

Who is Flat Armando?
Who is Flat Armando?

Flat Armando

  • Man, Myth or Legend?

Since the beginning of time, men have sought out the extraordinary.  Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and now Flat Armando.  Does this legendary creature really exist?  Can this fabled man’s survival be proven?  And, if found, how will he interact with modern society?

Thanks to Ron Westphal Chevrolet manager Paul Smith, we now have exclusive photos proving Flat Armando is not just an old wive’s tale.  He is real and he is here.

Flat Armando was recently sited in Princeton, IL.  And, believe it or not…a Chinese restaurant in Oswego.  The following unretouched photos prove that not only was this elusive man captured on film…he was able to capture the hearts of all who met him that remarkable night.

Will we ever see Flat Armando again?  No one knows.  “It was a magical evening”, says Paul.  “If we have learned anything from this…it was Flat Armando’s unwavering message of tolerance.  It really struck a chord with all of us.  And therefore, we plan to continue tolerating each other right here at Ron Westphal Chevrolet for many years to come.”

Flat Armando loads up on carbs in preparation for an evening of partying.
Flat Armando loads up on carbs in preparation for an evening of partying with his new friends!
“We are more alike than unalike.” –Maya Angelou
Flat Armando was a surprisingly great listener
Flat Armando was a surprisingly articulate and was able to suggest a plethora of viable solutions on subjects ranging from ‘world peace’ to ‘how can I get my spouse to shut up’?


30% of the time it works every time.
30% of the time it works every time.
Sleeping Beauty
This is the last known picture of Flat Armando. Totally exhausted and passed out in a stranger’s bed.  “That’s how I’ll always remember him” says Paul wistfully.  Then, in the morning he was gone…

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